What are you teaching me to expect from you?
Words don’t teach. Our actions speak much louder than our words.
So when you say one thing and do another, it’s your actions that are shaping my expectations of you. Not your words.
And when I start lowering my expectations of you, we’re on a slippery slope. I believe, and life has taught me, that people will rise (or lower) to our expectations of them. Can you see the spiral we start entering?
Of course, ultimately, it’s up to me. I have the power to set my expectation of you and hold it there, no matter what you do. And the broader and higher I go, the easier it is. And the steadier I hold it, the more I'll get that from you. But let’s face it, this is hard to do when you’ve set a pattern.
Let me give you an example…. I had a colleague who would talk a good talk about honouring commitments and promising to deliver on time. However, they would often be late and I would either need to chase them for their deliverables or I would be left in a pickle. (I like that phrase ;)) Every time we would work on something together, I wanted to believe in them and rely on them, but it got harder.
So, yes, it’s up to me to hold you in the light.
But, I’ll ask again, what are you teaching me to expect from you?
Food for thought.
Photo cred: Jenny Xenos, Vancouver 2018